What women wish they knew sooner about divorce and money
Divorce doesn’t just split a household; it turns your financial life upside down. And for many women, divorce is the start of a steep financial learning curve.
If you’re considering divorce, going through a divorce, or helping a friend or family member who is, this guide is for you.
tl;dr
Divorce is part heartbreak, part financial audit. But this is your moment to take control. Get your money info together, bring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) onto your team, and don’t settle just to be done. “Fair” isn’t always 50/50, and that dream house might actually be a financial trap. The right money moves now set you up to thrive later.
Get ready for an epic scavenger hunt
Financial information is the first thing an attorney usually asks for. There are obvious things, like several months of pay stubs, tax returns, and bank account statements. But then there are things you might not think are financial documents, like insurance policies, Social Security statements, and your family’s medical expenses.
Gathering all your financial information can feel like an epic scavenger hunt. And it’s even harder if your spouse has always handled the finances. Things can get especially tricky if you don’t have login information for your financial accounts.
Don’t. Be. Discouraged. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Chip away at your financial documents checklist as best as you can. Go for the easier items first if you need to, especially if you’re doing this before you’ve let your spouse know you want a divorce. Your lawyer can always apply legal pressure later, like a subpoena, for harder-to-get items.
Hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) before a divorce attorney
A CDFA will help you gather and organize all the financial paperwork from your scavenger hunt. And, because they are experts in divorce-related finances, they’ll also crunch all the numbers and create a financial summary for you to take to your attorney.
You’ll have a way more productive first meeting with your divorce lawyer if you have this financial summary.
If you’re already working with a lawyer, it’s still a good idea to loop in a CDFA. Lawyers are not financial experts. A CDFA is. They’re another layer of support to help you make confident, informed decisions.
You’re going to need an emotional support team
Anger, fear, grief: these are absolutely valid things to be feeling. The life you built, the future you pictured, the identity tied to being married, it’s all shifting. Of course, you’re going to feel the spectrum of emotions. Even if the decision is mutual, divorce is one of the most stressful things you can go through.
You’re going to need your people, even if it’s only someone to vent to, so you're not letting everything out on your lawyer. That could be a therapist, friend, or coach.
A therapist can help you manage the emotional storm, your best friend will pick up the phone at 2 a.m. when you just need someone to talk to, and, if right for you, a divorce coach can be another trained professional to guide you through the personal, emotional, and legal parts of the divorce process.
So scream into a pillow, ugly cry in the car, rage-text your best friend, do whatever you need to reset. Then, continue the financial documents scavenger hunt.
It’s not always worth keeping the house
You may want to fight for the family home. You’re emotionally attached to it. You want stability for the kids. It can feel like you’re “getting something big” in the settlement. It’s understandable; your home represents comfort, memories, and a sense of normalcy. Of course, you want to fight for it.
It might be hard to hear, but keeping the family home sometimes isn’t worth it.
Houses can be expensive. The mortgage, taxes, and upkeep might be hard on just your income. Add a dip in the housing market or a natural disaster, and your home can become a source of anxiety instead of a place of security. Selling the home to avoid a financial trap might be the smarter move.
A 50/50 split isn’t always fair
Equal doesn’t always mean fair. A settlement that looks balanced on paper can leave you with way less in real-life value.
Taking $50,000 in cash isn’t the same as taking a $50,000 car. Cash is flexible. It can pay bills, build savings, or get invested. A car loses value, needs insurance, and racks up maintenance costs. One asset grows your wealth, the other drains it.
Similarly, taking a $100,000 brokerage account isn’t the same as taking a $100,000 retirement account. The brokerage account is accessible right now, with no penalties. The retirement account, on the other hand, is locked up until age 59 ½. On top of that, withdrawals come with taxes. And, if you need the money early, you might be hit with penalty fees. That means the $100K retirement account might actually be worth closer to $75K (or less!) once taxes hit.
Same number on paper. Very different outcomes in real life.
Before agreeing to any division, get clear on what each asset is truly worth. A financial expert, like a CDFA, can break it down so you’re not stuck with shiny numbers that don’t hold up over time.
Don’t be too eager to settle
Divorce can be physically, emotionally, and financially taxing. There are going to be times when you’ll want to finalize the divorce just to be done with it. No more fighting. No more waiting to move on with your life.
But rushing can lead to money decisions that hurt you later. In divorce, patience can save you from costly mistakes and give you a stronger financial foundation for what comes next.
Think of divorce as a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a long road ahead, but you’re going to make it.
Divorce can be the start of your financial confidence journey
If finances weren’t your responsibility during marriage, learning about retirement funds, investment options, and risk tolerance might feel intimidating at first. But financial literacy is a skill you can absolutely build. And it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
Even in the mess and chaos of your divorce, you’re learning the basics of money. Don’t let these bootcamp lessons go to waste, and keep learning after your divorce. Take a class. Read personal finance books. Hire a financial planner. And when you’re comfortable enough with the big stuff, pass that knowledge along to other women.
Think about it like a sport. Maybe you like running and can already run for an hour. That’s endurance. Now you want to be faster. That takes strength-building like weightlifting. The power you get from strengthening now gives you speed. You level up as an athlete.
Financial literacy can be the same. Knowledge is power. Power begets strength. Strong women can reclaim their voices, rebuild on their own terms, and step into the next chapter with confidence.
You’re going to be OK
If you’re navigating divorce, or even just starting to think about it, remember: You don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to know everything today. Be kind and patient with yourself. And a good CDFA in your corner doesn’t hurt!
We’re here to support you
The financial part of divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you don’t know what you don’t know. CURO makes the next steps feel a lot less confusing.
This material is intended for informational/educational purposes only and should not be construed as investment, tax, or legal advice. CURO Wealth Management does not provide legal or tax advice. You should consult a legal or tax professional regarding your individual situation.